Hi, welcome to your Weekend!

Feeling numb to the latest Elon Musk scandal, I went looking for another celebrity feud to obsess over for awhile. There was no way I was wading into the toxic cesspool that is Amber vs. Johnny. And I could care less about Ted Cruz’s opinion of Pete Davidson.

But the Wagatha Christie trial? Oh, my friends, this is the stuff. The case introduces us to two warring WAGs (wives and girlfriends) of famed British soccer players. One WAG, Rebekah Vardy (wife of Jamie), is suing another, Coleen Rooney (wife of Wayne), for defaming her on social media. Allegedly, Vardy leaked embarrassing information about Rooney to the press, leading Rooney to embark on an Agatha Christie-style sleuthing mission to find the rat. This led to a some catty revenge posting, a phone mysteriously dropped into the North Sea, and a slavishly covered courtroom drama.

There are so many more scurrilous details, but other serious matters require attention. Still, if you need a mental break from worrying about the bear market, you could do worse than reading a little Wagatha.

the big read

Panic at the Discord

The crypto party was as raucous as ever—and then someone turned on the lights. After a stablecoin crash wiped out some $400 billion in market cap last week, the crypto industry was left with shaken confidence and a massive hangover. The Information reached out to a dozen investors, founders, traders and DAO members, asking them to share their emotions and tabulate their losses. Though their responses to the crisis may differ, the crypto maximalists share at least one common trait: eternal optimism in the face of financial ruin.

the new resistance

A Firing, a Miscarriage and a Flight From America

Days after the leak of a draft decision that would overturn Roe v. Wade, Flora spoke with Janneke Parrish, a former Apple product manager, who was fired in October 2021 after organizing a worker-led drive to push the company out of Texas, due to the state’s abortion policies. Parrish shares the personal story of her own abortion as a teenager, her recent unintended pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage and her new life in the Netherlands.

screentime

Former Musical.ly President Alex Hofmann Spends 9 Hours a Day on His Phone, Still Won’t Return Your Texts

In the second installment of our Screentime series, Annie spoke with former Musical.ly president Hofmann about his personal phone habits, his calls with Jimmy Iovine and the reason he has downloaded more than 30 different dating apps. (Purely for research.)

opinion

VR Is Failing the Very People It Could Benefit Most

“Some of the world’s largest companies are staking their future on XR [augmented and virtual reality] becoming central to modern life—to commerce, education, recreation, the arts and of course work,” writes attorney Brittan Heller. “That could go in one of at least two directions: toward a more inclusive future that allows people to transcend their physical differences and limitations, or toward a shiny simulacrum of our unequal present.”

Watching: One way to restore a blocked Instagram account
It’s a story we’ve heard before: Instagram removes a creator’s account after they post one too many risqué images. Faced with such a scenario, one OnlyFans creator took a special sort of initiative. On the “No Jumper” podcast, guest Kitty Lixo walked listeners through her re-platforming journey. According to Lixo, she looked up Meta employees on LinkedIn, DM-ed them from what she called her “backup but still slutty account” and then arranged to have sex with them. Meta has not yet commented on the claims, but you’ll be shocked to learn that after the alleged trysts with Meta employees, Lixo’s account was miraculously restored.

Listening: The modern day Sk8r Boi—“Crypto Boy”
With apologies to Harry Styles, there’s only one song on repeat in Weekend’s House. It’s a TikTok breakup song about a “crypto boy” and, well, it slaps. Singer Salem Ilese, known for her earlier TikTok hit “Mad at Disney” (250 million streams on Spotify), laid down the hook and let followers add their own verses. The result is incredibly catchy, peppered with first-rate crypto wordplay (“Mention NFTs one more time, and it’s guaranteed we’re Not F****ing Tonight”) and some tough love for the blockchain obsessives: No one cares about your “crypto, boy, not at all, not even one bit…coin.”

Reading: The nuns of TikTok
Sing, Sister! The New York Times’ Anna Furman introduced us to @nunsenseforthepeople, a TikTok account belonging to Sister Monica Clare, an Episcopal nun in New Jersey, who’s amassed over 164,000 followers on the platform. Furman spoke with the sister and other members of TikTok’s burgeoning nun community. The nuns of TikTok participate in dance trends, explain various parts of nun life, and even prank other nuns. “I keep telling the other sisters, ‘Get on TikTok!’” said Sister Monica Clare. “‘If we’re hidden, we’re going to die out.’”

Makes You Think

It’s the end of an era in South Florida.

Until next Weekend, thanks for reading!

—Jon

Weekend Editor, The Information